Tomorrow I have an echo cardiogram to make sure my heart is okay for the chemotherapy treatments and a PET scan to see if the cancer is anywhere else.  The PET scan procedure is a long process of waiting an hour or more for the radioactive injection to go throughout the body.  I’ll have to be still the whole time.  Really still.  Like you-can’t-even-read still.  Then the scan itself.  I’m so grateful that I have a centering prayer (meditation) practice;  otherwise I don’t know if I could get through all of this testing (and the waiting and not knowing) nearly as well.  I’ve had a daily practice for a little over 10 years, and that has been the most transformative thing I’ve ever done.  Well, this cancer is transforming me, too, and combined with centering prayer – who knows how far I can go in letting go??

Some people have asked about the whole treatment path.  I’ll start chemotherapy as soon as the surgeon gets the port put in.  Chemo treatments will be once every two weeks for a cycle of four, or for a total of eight weeks.  If all goes well, which I expect that it will, the next step will be a lumpectomy.  The chemo is first because shrinking the tumor gives better margins for the lumpectomy,  plus people with this kind of cancer do better in the long run with chemo first.  Finally will be radiation.  So by the end, I’ll know lots about a variety of cancer treatments.  And all kinds of medical stuff.  I’ve never been drawn to medicine.  I’m the person who looks away when the news shows someone getting a shot.  I’m the person who can’t watch violent movies at all because seeing pain puts me in pain.  So here I am, about to find out firsthand about all kinds of medical treatments.  Needles and ports and surgery and chemo and radiation and blood counts and things I don’t even know yet that I’m going to have to deal with.  An education in a whole new area.  Again, I’m glad I practice centering prayer!

The best part of this time has been hearing from so many friends, past and present.  Facebook has been a wonderful medium for this, but the Internet as a whole has allowed people to connect with me.  I’m so very grateful to have so much support, and I really believe that makes a big difference in healing.  We’re all made up of energy, and sending positive vibrations to someone HAS to make a difference.  It may not be in ways we understand, but I do believe we can feel that connection.  I sure do.  So thank you to all of you who are sending good vibes and saying prayers for me.  You’re helping in my healing path in wonderful ways.