I saw my surgeon today in preparation for my surgery on Monday. He could hardly find the tumor because it has shrunk so much. He was excited that the chemo has done so well in shrinking the tumor that was chestnut-sized in September. I told him it was chemo working with lots of prayers and good vibes from lots of people. I’m always hesitant to say that God has answered prayers because I know plenty of people whose prayers weren’t answered in such a positive (or seemingly positive) way. I believe that prayers and good mojo and positive thoughts do make a difference. I can’t give a quantifiable reason or proof, but I do believe that. And I believe that we don’t always get the answer we think we want but instead we get what is best in the really big picture. I don’t claim to understand this big picture, but I believe that there is a unified field of which we are all a part. This breast cancer diagnosis has certainly shown me how connected I am with others. I don’t pretend to have an intellectual grasp on this, but I can feel that connection. And I’m grateful for it, along with the chemo poison that has worked so well in shrinking the tumor.
As for the particulars of Monday, I’m scheduled for a lumpectomy and removal of a couple of sentinel lymph nodes at 9:30 AM. I’ll go in early for an injection to make the right lymph nodes show up for the surgeon. It has a name, but I have no idea how to say it or spell it. It involves a radioactive tracer that is injected before surgery. The pathology of the nodes will determine the course of treatment, but my oncologist anticipates another round of chemo followed by radiation. So far, the docs’ predictions have been very accurate.
I ask for your thoughts and prayers and good mojo for me and my surgical team on Monday morning – and for me before then, that I can stay calm and centered and help my body be prepared for Monday’s surgery. My sister will be flying in on Saturday afternoon to be with me for a week and be my post-surgery caretaker. She’s getting lots of practice in caretaking. And in traveling from southern New Hampshire to this corner of Georgia.
Thank you for coming on this journey with me. I’m not nearly through it, but I feel encouraged with the news I got today. I’m still trying to take life one day at a time. I’ve really enjoyed the past couple of weeks of feeling better and stronger and having time with friends – and good food, too. I’m trying not to dread surgery and recovery and more chemo and then radiation but instead to be in the now, whatever it may be. I feel that this breast cancer treatment path is refining me and teaching me that gratitude is not dependent on situations as much as on how I view the situations. There are always blessings. And I’m learning to see them every day.