The Curse of What “Should Be”

I suppose it’s human nature to create a script of the way it “should be.”

You know, as in: “If I exercise and eat healthy, I’ll be healthy. And I’ll die in my 90s or even later, a happy little old woman.”

And: “If I do well in school and work hard, my life will be successful. Which means I’ll have a good, stable job with a nice retirement. And when I get old, I’ll be financially secure.”

Also: “If I’m a nice person, I’ll have lots of friends and a loving spouse and wonderful children who will live happily ever after. Just as I will.”

But what about when life doesn’t follow the script?

When you find out you have cancer?

When hard work is met with failure?

When you hit financial hardship?

When your spouse leaves you?

When your child becomes a drug addict?

So many, many scripts veer off that “happily-ever-after” one.

What do you do when you get one of the not-so-happy scripts?

I think that’s when we become most fully human.

No human is perfect. And no human has the perfect script.

We all have flaws. We all make mistakes. We all fail.

And when I see someone who seems to be perfect . . .  well, that’s a red flag for me. I sense a buried wound, some unacknowledged pain. Something that at some point will make itself known.

And then that person will join the rest of us, the flawed humans living on this planet.

When I can let go of “should be” and be with what actually is, I’m a much better person. A flawed person who gets caught up in worry and fear, but a more fully human one.

I look around daily and see others struggling. And I know I’m right there with them.

Our struggles are what make us better. They can make us less judgmental. They can make us more open.

Because we’re all struggling.

I’m trying to embrace the struggle and break the curse of should-be.

Maybe even one day I’ll quit struggling!

When I do, I’ll know the curse is broken.

For good.






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