Tomorrow I'll experience a bilateral TKR - total knee replacement, both knees. So I'm T minus 1 day . . . and counting. It's been a journey to get here. Since the end of July when I got the bone-on-bone diagnosis, I've been doing stretches every morning and working out with weights two or three days … Continue reading T minus 1 day
Next Tuesday I'm set for surgery. A complete hysterectomy. And what I'm feeling is paradoxical. I feel both fear and trust. Both swirl in my thoughts and feelings. How to be present to that? I know that being present is essential. The last big surgery I had was a little over five years ago, a … Continue reading Surgery: Fear and Trust
We've probably all been there. Your life is perking along. You're feeling "normal" - perhaps you even think your life is "good." And then something unexpected tilts your world. It might be a death, or something health-related, or someone tells you something that changes everything. And suddenly all that seemed "normal" five minutes ago looks … Continue reading A little post about welcoming fear
All of us have been through some kind of wounding situation that put us on a healing path. It might have been a badly sprained ankle, a deep cut that required lots of stitches, surgery of some sort, a heart attack, the death of a friend or loved one, a divorce, cancer, a lost friendship, … Continue reading Why does healing take SO LONG?
I start to feel panicky. I'm sweating. And I have to calm myself again.
I'm learning that unpredictability is going to be a big part of my life now as a middle school teacher. It's kind of like four years ago when I was going through cancer treatments. One of my big struggles was the unpredictability then, too. How would the side effects manifest during chemo treatment? How would the radiation affect me … Continue reading Teaching Middle School, Week 3: Not only the weather was unpredictable!
April 24th is a kind of birthday for me. It's the day I completed breast cancer treatments. And fittingly, this year's local Relay for Life is on April 25th. So I'm looking at this year's Relay event as a "birthday" celebration of my third year as a cancer-free person. But I'm not only feeling celebration … Continue reading An Upcoming “Birth”day: Three Years After Cancer Treatments
Just a quick post today to acknowledge the three-year anniversary of my breast cancer diagnosis. I was terrified that day three years ago. I numbly went through an MRI and PET scan that week (or the next. It all ran together). And then port surgery and right into chemo for eight weeks. And a lumpectomy … Continue reading Another anniversary
Now that I'm on Grouchy Day #5, I finally realized that something must be going on in my psyche. Typically my grouchy days come one at a time and last maybe a day and a half - at the most.So what is it that's bugging me??What has me feeling ready to cry at almost anything, … Continue reading As they say . . . denial ain’t just a river in Egypt!
You'd think I'd have learned this during my cancer journey. There is no "waiting." There is only NOW. "Waiting" takes me out of the NOW. And waiting necessarily needs expectation. Another thing I should have gotten beyond, should have learned to let go of, during my cancer journey. Have no expectations. These last weeks … Continue reading There is NO “waiting”