"Suffering has a noble purpose: the evolution of consciousness and the burning up of the ego." Eckhart Tolle Today has been a day of discouragement and resentment for me. I'd hoped to enjoy today, the day before another round of chemo, but instead I found myself mired in negative emotions. My mind understands that having … Continue reading Janus and another chemo treatment
chemo treatment
Wearing away rough edges
This breast cancer journey has been full of the unexpected. The latest is cellulitis, which has postponed until next Thursday the chemo treatment that I was to have yesterday. That postponement pushes everything back a week, so this journey of treatments will end a week later. I'm pleased to say that I'm not upset about … Continue reading Wearing away rough edges
Rough week after Chemo #4. . . and grace
I'm still learning not to have expectations. I'd hoped that by now, over a week after Chemo #4, I'd be starting to feel better, stronger, but I haven't. I can tell that the thrombosis is improving, but I've felt especially weak and have felt faint several times the past couple of days. My blood counts … Continue reading Rough week after Chemo #4. . . and grace
Seeing docs & last chemo of this round
The first of the good news is that I had my last chemo of this round and am feeling better this morning. I had a power surge at 5:30 AM and couldn't sleep, so I finally got up. It's unpredictable as to how each chemo affects me, other than every evening after the chemo I … Continue reading Seeing docs & last chemo of this round
Feeling better – and that means. . .
If I'm feeling lots better, almost back to my old self, then that means another chemo treatment is imminent. Yep, I have one tomorrow. This time I'm hoping to be less tense and more in my body so that I can visualize my microscopic team killing the cancer and cleaning it up and healing the … Continue reading Feeling better – and that means. . .
Port and first chemo
The last couple of days kind of run together, but I can give an overview. My sister took me to the surgery to get my port on Wednesday. I'm a difficult "stick," and the first nurse didn't find a good vein for the IV and had to move it around and then give up. You … Continue reading Port and first chemo
Waiting
I find myself doing a lot of waiting lately. Waiting for a doctor's appointment or a test/scan or test/scan results or to hear from a doctor's office or for the pre-surgery or for having the port put in or for the first chemo. I try to stay in the now, but it's hard. Even if … Continue reading Waiting
eddies and currents 