Although I try to follow my intuition (because I know it's very wise), sometimes I confuse myself and don't know what to do - or not to do. This is a story of just that: I was scheduled for a biopsy last month, one that could be very painful. I had not felt comfortable with this … Continue reading Intuition and Fear: How synchronicity stepped in to make things clear for me
All of us have been through some kind of wounding situation that put us on a healing path. It might have been a badly sprained ankle, a deep cut that required lots of stitches, surgery of some sort, a heart attack, the death of a friend or loved one, a divorce, cancer, a lost friendship, … Continue reading Why does healing take SO LONG?
I'm learning that unpredictability is going to be a big part of my life now as a middle school teacher. It's kind of like four years ago when I was going through cancer treatments. One of my big struggles was the unpredictability then, too. How would the side effects manifest during chemo treatment? How would the radiation affect me … Continue reading Teaching Middle School, Week 3: Not only the weather was unpredictable!
About three months ago, I got the feeling I was completing a cycle. That something is finishing within me, that something is shifting, that I'm about to emerge into something new. I realized that it was seven years ago that I quit teaching and embarked on a new life. I also realized that I've read … Continue reading A 7 Year Cycle: Failure and Fear
Just a quick post today to acknowledge the three-year anniversary of my breast cancer diagnosis. I was terrified that day three years ago. I numbly went through an MRI and PET scan that week (or the next. It all ran together). And then port surgery and right into chemo for eight weeks. And a lumpectomy … Continue reading Another anniversary
Why am I still in a funk? I got the results from my mammogram and ultrasound on Monday, and my surgeon evaluated them yesterday. There is no evidence of cancer. That's good news, right?? You'd think I'd be all happy and celebrating. Even the "mostly" part isn't that much of a glitch. That part is that … Continue reading (Mostly) Good News
Everybody has them, those one-year anniversaries marking significant events in our lives. A wedding. A death. A birth. A move. A new job. A retirement. Typically we mark beginnings and endings. Those of us who are cancer survivors mark them both. Ask any of us the date we got our diagnosis. We can tell you … Continue reading Those One-year Anniversaries
I'm ending this year so tired, really tired, very tired, but in a lovely way. Not in the so-tired-and-weak way of February right after the end of chemo when I didn't have the energy to walk to the mailbox. No, a different tired. One that says I'm still not recovered from eight weeks of chemo … Continue reading Endings and births: Goodbye 2012, Welcome 2013
Reaping is a term that has shown up often lately in movies and fiction. I'm thinking of it in conjunction with this time of year, when I take a walk at the battlefield and find hay rolls in freshly-mown fields - and realize it's probably the last mowing of the year. We're at the time … Continue reading Reaping
This weekend, I feel broken. When I think on the last year, I know I am broken. I am not who I was last August. My upcoming mammogram tomorrow along with the reminders of this season are all making me reflect on this past year. What I feel now is brokenness. When I look in … Continue reading Broken