I saw my medical oncologist this morning. She was more concerned than my surgeon about the tumor and the pathology so far. More extensive pathology will give answers. That more-extensive pathology will take two to three weeks. My medical oncologist's concern is that the tumor was larger than expected (and therefore in a range of … Continue reading Breast cancer Round 2: Meeting with my medical oncologist
Too often in my life when things are hard, I just want them to be OVER. That's because waiting times can be difficult. I can imagine all kinds of scenarios. And in the past I've had trouble getting negative, worrying thoughts out of my mind. But this time, to my surprise, I'm doing so much … Continue reading Breast cancer Round 2: The liminal space of waiting
You know how when you get concerning news you can go straight into anxiety? Well, that's been my rollercoaster for a couple of months. It started with a concerning EKG at my cardiologist's office in February. She set me up for an echocardiogram to see if there was something that needs attention. Plus she wanted … Continue reading Trying not to fall into the FEAR pit
So what's my word for 2022? It's a verb, one that seems obvious for the pandemic.
On this day at this time (December 5 at 1 PM) I was home or about to be home after a breast lumpectomy and node removal. I don't recall ever wondering during that time whether I'd still be around in a decade. Even though that wasn't a thought back then, here I am now, 10 … Continue reading Celebrating 10 years cancer-free
All I have to do is trust, just as autumn trees do.
Ten years ago today I received a breast cancer diagnosis. I thought I'd reflect on that day today and have a kind of celebration. But that's not what I'm feeling. I'm feeling a shift today, a letting go of that time 10 years ago. A letting go of the heavy energies of that cancer journey. … Continue reading A Shift: A New Decade Post-cancer
Meticulous about washing clothes? You're practicing mindfulness!
This Mother's Day has me thinking about my lineage of mothers, from my mother to her mother to her mother. And also my father's mother and her mother.
Boy, we are in a time of great dissension! So much argument. So much anger. So much pain. I'm someone who greatly dislikes contention and argument. I feel it in my chest. A tightness, a blocking off. I feel I have to defend myself— and my views (which I take as a part of myself. … Continue reading Trying to shift from defense to curiosity